ChapterZero

As usual, I’m here waiting in the library for my sister to pick me up. And as usual, that invites my mind to contemplate all the variegated phenomena that assault my psychic being when I take the time to think. Like, I was considering how wrong I’ve been in condemning myself and others for not measuring up the ridiculous ideals I’ve acquired somehow. Before, I’ve always wondered how the world could possibly continue progressing and innovating with the people I see everyday at the university as its stewards. How could we break free of the various ideological molds and scientific barrriers that are holding us back if the scientists and philosophers needed for those tasks must be drawn from this paltry stock? But just now, as I was considering where my life is going, and how little the hectic pace I’m pushing myself at means, it came to me in an epiphany. An obvious truth, but one that only resonates when it comes to you unbidden and in a time of thoughtful repose. The sciences, and perhaps even philosophy, don’t depend on individuals to achieve its spectacular results. Despite all the hype that surrounds the image of the superacademic, and all the emphasis that is placed on visionaries like Einstein and Newton, that is not the way scientific knowledge is accumulated, generally speaking. For the most part, science consists of accumulating data and constructing interim theories to explain observed correspondences; eventually, when the interim theories start to show their holes, the focus switches to creating blanket synergistic theories that faithfully account for all observations. That is why I consider physics to be the most mature science– because we have surmounted enough obstacles to consider it feasible to discover a Theory of Everything. Anyhow, point being we don’t need intellectual giants like the aforementioned pair in the everyday workings of science. Science will progress in its stately fashion, not knowing what it is overlooking, until some person or group comes along to point out the way, thereby establishing the path for future efforts. So, in a sense, we need people like me and the other mindless ones to do the drudgery, and prepare the way for the great-souled ones. Perhaps now I’ve justified myself, I will stop trying to read so many books. There is no way I can possibly complete them all, furthermore retain all that information, but I suspect I keep trying in hope of being the next person to make some wonderful gestalt discovery, like Claude Shannon and Information Theory. But how can one possibly groom ones’ self to be a genius? I don’t think it is possible, and I wish I could curb my impulses to attempt the impossible.

I was just reminded of Due South by one of the automated quotes up around the site– I haven’t thought of it in a really long time. I remember how much I idolized Benton Frasier. Heck, I even remember the name of the dog- Definbaker. Yep, I was a freak. I loved that show; I almst cried when it was canceled. That’s the only Canadian show I’ve ever liked (if it was truly Canadian). And I remember how I wanted to experience Canada (actually, just the Northern Territories) to see for myself how plausible it was that such a place could generate a person like B.F.

Anyhow, back to what I’m here for. I stumbled across some stuff today that would definitely solve my problem. I’ve been searching for some real content for the site for a while now. But I stumbled across some old stuff back from when I was making content for one of my earlier sites. I ended up not using it, but I kept it. So soon I might upload that to make this site more than an exercise in reflection. Blogs are cool, but I have to face the truth: websites predicated totally on one person’s life are invariably useless.

Some of the ideas I’ve been reconsidering include a Perl tutorial for those who already have experience programming, a Scheme tutorial, and a PHP tutorial. Why these particular tutorials? Because those are the coolest programming languages, and yet it’s hard to find a good online reference that isn’t simplistic or too technical. Overarchingly, I’ll try to concentrate on those languages to the level that they can be used for scripting, i.e. no OOP or pointers or other large task features.

Also, I’m going to upload my word list and book list– more for my benefit than anything else. Finally, I also have a project I’ve been working on every once in a while, when my interest in it is piqued; namely, the specification of a computer algebraic system (CAS). The point isn’t ever to reach the point where actual code is developed, just for me to experience the challenge of transferring mathematical knowledge to feasible algorithms. Seeing as how I’ve looked at books in the library on symbolic integration, and know that is way beyond my current knowledge level (and frankly, interest), I won’t be attempting anything more advanced than differentiation. So I’ll keep a page on just that project, which will be updated as I work on it; hopefully others will see it and be motivated to produce a free CAS of Maple caliber :), or more realistically, to donate their own ideas.

I’ve been struggling with the new site template for about a week now. Instead of one single 10hr session, I’ve put in about 2hrs each day. So, I might be uploading it tonight. All that remains really, is to add some php code to randomize the pictures, and replace the filler code with MT tags. At the least, I’ll have all that done by the end of the week.

I’m thinking of getting rid of Agon. I really haven’t found much use for a BBS, and I don’t like having things around I don’t use– that’s a dangerous habit. I’ll give it another week, and see if I can think of any *convincing* use for it.

Speaking of templates, I uploaded and configured Smarty, a PHP templating engine. I haven’t really looked at all the features yet, but it seems pretty robust. I’m thinking of using it to power that book list project I’ve been considering. Other than that, it seems like a powerful tool to use. So, I’ll finish printing out the manual using school ink and paper today

While I’m talking about Web stuff, I might as well mention I’m reading a book on digital typography. You know, when I first look at books like that, I wonder what they could _possibly_ have to say that isn’t obvious. But whoa, I’m usually at least a little hasty in making that judgment. In this case, this book is awesome. Not only are the images breathtaking (the fonts are so sharp and the colors are so smooth, I want to eat them!), but all the concepts are practical. So far, I’ve learned tips on tracking and H&J (hypenation and justification). And finally, one of my biggest questions about DTP software has been answered, viz., why does it exist

Continuing in the same vein, I’m planning to renew my knowledge in all things Webbie. I.e. CSS (all levels), XHTML, Perl, PHP, MySQL, and learn XML and XSL. I really wish browsers supported XML and XSL right now. That way, I could make my own markup language, and use that and a simple script to manage my site, instead of MT. (not that I ever would remove MT)

Anyhow, I’ve wasted enough time here. Time to exercise, bathe, and leave the house for the wonderful world of U of H.

Just like the song. I was just about to go to sleep, when I decided I needed some bedtime reading. You know, the type of thing you read to lull yourself to sleep, so then all that remains is to switch the lights off and succumb to sleep? So, I reached into my school bag for the R manual, which I had printed out in the library (yes, that’s right, all 105 pages– I pay that $75 computer access fee for something, right?), and noticed my lab was still in there! Damn, I forgot to turn it in! That really sucks. So I just emailed my TA, who seems nice yet strict, to see if she’ll let me turn it in next week. If she says no, I can kiss my hope of getting anything higher than a B in that class goodbye. Isn’t that odd– the only class I’m worried about this semester requires absolutely no thought. I consider it only a level above phys. ed. Anyhow, I’m going to go to sleep now. Maybe things will look brighter tomorrow.

Ok, I’m really bored. So… let’s propose a project. It’s been a long time since I used PHP, and that experiment ( a home-brewed guestbook ) failed miserably. Lately, I’ve noticed I am always making a list of books from the library which I’d like to eventually check out and read. Inevitably, I lose these lists, have to start all over, lose the new list… ad infinitum. The proposed project is a Web-based PHP management system; this would alleviate the problem by allowing me to upload all the lists’ data unto the Net. I sat down and wrote up a spec (I forgot the technical software engineering term) of the desired program, including both basic features which necessarily must be coded, and luxury features that are nowhere integral to the functionality of the software. With that in mind, in no particular order, here are the features I came up with:

• it should handle data from flat-files or MySQL dbs
• when using a db to store data, it should bootstrap
• it should separate administrator level access from visitor level access
• it should store the book name, names of the editors and/or authors, the date of the entry, the location of the book, and any miscellaneous notes desired
• it should allow custom (immutable) querying of the db in visitor mode and raw querying in the admin mode
• it should check for redundant entries
• it should be possible to categorize the entries, specifically, to keep track of: what’s being read, what has been read, and the priority books should be read in
• it should keep book ratings

Whew! That was a good mouthful. Hopefully this project will fare better than my last– an attempt to write a general purpose college level course planning program, which never proceeded much even into the specification stages. I’m thinking of making a new page dedicated wholly to this. But we’ll see: it all depends on whether my enthusiasm stays or goes.

Well, today I have a whole free period: only two classes, Chemistry and Human Sit. Between, I usually have History, but our Prof went somewhere. I had planned on using the extra time to read for Human Sit (and probably end up reading a novel instead), but after Chem, I’m thinking maybe I should start studying. Two reasons: 1) we covered a whole lot of material, and I need to remember a lot of details for the test, like the derivation of quantum mechanical eqns, and 2) the prof wants me to work for him this summer, and it’d look bad if I didn’t do good in the class. Anyhow, there is a lot of stuff to study, so I’m going to go off and get to stepping.

Note: I just encountered some problems with the MT upgrade, easily fixed; moral: upgrade!

I just started reading Kant’s Prolegomena to any Future Metaphysics for Human Sit. It is interesting, and the man unquestionably was a towering intellect, but I find it hard going. I’m surprised that he could write about such an arcane subject manner and not lose the clarity he possesses. So far however, I disagree with him at least once ( there are always those things he says which I don’t understand yet :)– he says math is purely synthetic. With the way he uses the word synthetic, I can’t see him as being right: basically, he says math does not work by elucidating and drawing out implicit meanings from definitions. To me, that is math in a very vital sense.. after all, that is the basis from which proofs prove! Of course, I am probably wrong. Any how, I’m going to reread him tonight.

On a totally unrelated note, I’m glad I can finally access the site. The server has been down for a really long time. Actually, I’m going to go see why.. right now.

This is an old entry, which I just got around to posting:

I’m sitting here at UH in the Engineering Center, typing this, wondering why l33t.ca has been down for the past two or three days. I hope it comes back up soon, so I can resume my regularly [un-]scheduled blogging. I have two articles on the computer at home that I still have yet to post. Hopefully when l33t.ca comes back up, all of its problems will have been completely resolved.

As I was doing my reading last night of Montaigne for my Human Situation class, I realized that this guy had done exactly what I think I’m trying to do here. His books were written to explore, as he put it ‘assay’, himself. I think that is the purpose of my blog; as someone who overarchingly doesn’t believe in a ‘personality’ per se, I think I’m trying to establish who I am and what I stand for. Too bad I can’t be like Montaigne; although he uses reason where he feels it applies and gives suitable answers, he resolves any conflict on the side of faith. I don’t have that much faith, especially not in the Church.

Anyway, on somewhat the same line of thought, I decided to enjoy my walk in from the parking lot this morning; I’ll have to be doing it five days of every week for the next semester, so I figured it might as well be fun instead of a chore. So I slowed down and tried to enjoy the environment; it is a cool, grey morning- the type I love- so I was drifting into a contemplative mood when I stopped to read the plaque in the plaza before the library. In all the hundreds of times I have walked in front of the library, I have never stopped to read the plaque that dedicates the plaza (more accurately described as a large green). With a quiet spirit I stopped and read it- it dedicated the plaza to a former member of the UH board of governors because ’she had an appreciation for beautiful landscaping and trees.’ There was some other stuff said, but that stuck with me. On the remainder of my walk here, I really looked at some of the trees and saw how beautiful they are; I had one of those moments where I really wished I had a [good] camera. What a peaceful experience.

I’m just grateful that, thanks to my abstaining from computers for a while, I can write this much without my hand silently screaming out in pain. But I’m not going to strain it…

Today I found MT can be very useful for more than just maintenace. I was in the Honors Lounge today when this girl asked me for help printing out her paper. She was using an Imac, and apparently the print spooler on it wasn’t sending the jobs to the network printer. Since I know nothing about Imacs, I messed around with it for a while, but eventually had to give up. The printer was printing fine from the computer I was at, so I decided we could try to transfer the file over. Unfortunately, Imacs don’t have floppy drives. We tried attached a USB drive to the computer: I’d seen some guy using it before; once again, that didn’t work. By this point, I should have left for class, so I decided to do the one thing I knew ( theoretically) would work: I uploaded her file using MT, and then downloaded it again on my computer. Cool huh?

I’m bored right now- I have to wait until 7pm to leave the University. And just thinking about what my parents are going to subject me to this weekend is depressing me. They don’t seem to get that not only do I not like going out of town, especially when the roundtrip is about a day, I also don’t like church trips. But like I said, they don’t understand, so I’m going to be taking a trip to Arkansas for some lame Youth Congress meeting. I don’t even talk to the ‘youth’ at my church; I don’t even like my church! And they force to go to this why? Because, they: a) want to get out of town, and for some reason think that if they go, I must also go, as if I can’t care for myself b) think I need to socialize with church ‘youth’ my age, and c) get a perverse pleasure from forcing me to do something against my will. My mother actually asked me whether I wanted to go! As if I had a choice. It’s times like these I hate my family. They can be so puerile.