Church Issues
I haven’t been going to church for over 6 months now. At first, I stopped because I was sick of church, and pretending to agree with every inane idea that people could claim was in the Bible, and most of the insipid ideas that a “good Christian” holds dearest. And since I’m not really close to any of the people in church, and being around some of them gives me a feeling of nausea brought on by an overwhelming sense of hypocrisy, I was glad to be able to spend my Saturdays on more constructive pursuits.
My parents have been rather cool about not forcing me to go to church. They realize that forcing me to go would accomplish nothing, an obviousness that I would not have expected them to acknowledge. At first, they tried wheedling me, but they gave that up rather quickly. Now they leave me be, at least for the time being. I suspect that they think– hope– this is just a phase. That’s pretty standard: they close their eyes to everything they don’t want to accept about me, and label it a phase.
But now, the hard part is beginning; the part that makes me think churches and cults have a lot more in common than the former are ready to admit. Random people from church call for my parents, and when I answer the phone, they ask why I haven’t been to church, and admonish me to “put God first.” Palpable disappointment wafts over the phone line, in what I presume is an (unconscious?) attempt to shame me back into church. Worst of all is my aunt, who says she doesn’t want to see me not make it to Heaven. This whole process seems like a muted version of withdrawing from a cult.
It all leaves me thinking, why does anyone care if I go to church? My parents care, I think, partly because they do want what’s best for me, but also largely because they want to think of themselves as successful parents. The people at church care, I think, because there is a dwindling youth population. There is no one who wants me to go to church solely because it is best for me; the closest person to that is my aunt, but even she has ulterior motives. Which is all to be expected: no one *is* capable of caring about someone else without biases.
Which means the decision is up to me. And I’ve made it, and sticking by it. Succintly, and simplisticly, I put it this way: church blows. If God wants me there, he can tell me himself. But that’s not going to happen now is it?
Possibly relevant posts:
- Paper to print (3/14/2002)
- The Church and the Jedi (5/26/2005)
- Election and other evil notions (8/4/2001)